Annoy and Embarrass Your Kids For the Holidays!
One of our God-given rights as a parent is to embarrass our kids any chance we get, at all costs. Will it cause irreparable damage to their psyche? Do it. Permanent disfigurement to myself? Worth it.
Maybe that's a bit too far, but if you're out of ideas on how to embarrass your kids (how could you be? You're on The Internet), here are some ideas for
me you to use, especially during holiday gatherings and when their friends are present.
The cost of putting them through therapy may be great, but so are these ideas!!!
TEN WAYS TO EMBARRASS YOUR KIDS
#1: Act Silly
- Threaten to whip out your Dad Dance Moves when their favorite jam comes on
#2: Those Stories, Tho
- Tell their friends about that time when one kid on the top bunk barfed on the other on the bottom bunk...from the top bunk
#3: Use Their Lingo
- Keep track of the latest slang and RUIN IT FOR THEM BY USING IT OFTEN!!!
#4: Dress Like Them
- It might get expensive, but the occasional copycatting of their style will ruin it for them. Bonus points for copying their poses on social media.
#5: Hover and Helicopter Parent Them!
- Be overprotective to a comical extent
#6: You Funny!
- Laugh at your jokes. Dad Jokes exist for this purpose.
#7: LOUD AND PROUD
- Compliment them and tell them how much you love them AS LOUD AS YOU CAN!!!
#8: Fart With Friends
- Let 'er rip when their friends are around. Bonus points if you're Mom.
#9: Repeat After Me
- If you don't have one already, create a weird "family motto". Insist that they repeat it at the worst possible times (for them).
- Give them a random new nickname every time their friends are around.
What's YOUR favorite way to lovingly embarrass your kids?