I mean, if you HAVE to stay sober on St Patrick's Day -- whether because of a court order, health, shortage of Guinness and NOTHING ELSE WILL DO -- you don't HAVE to be bored. That's a great thing! Being bored sucks.

Beavis (Right And Butt Head From The Movie Beavis And Butt Head Do America

These fellers know! (Getty Images)

To avoid the dreaded Boredom -- which can lead to a lot of Guinness -- here are a few tips on celebrating your (likely made-up) Irish heritage!


Four Ways to Celebrate St Patrick's Day Sober!

1) Cook Yourself Irish!
- Food rules. If you need to put something Irish down your throat, try food! There are plenty of traditional Irish foods to make, and it just might become a regular part of your meal planning!

2) Watch Yourself Irish!
- Well...watch Irish movies until you're Irish. Or something. There are lots of great Irish movies, including my personal favorite The Boondock Saints.

3) Run Yourself Irish!
There are shamrock-themed races. Yes. There are. Any excuse for squirrel-chasers to put on tights and run farther than humans should. But that could be you! Get yourself some exercise and maybe you can finally catch that leprechaun and get his pot o' gold!

4) Drive Others Irish!
You can still go out to bars and celebrate your Irish-ish with friends, but do them a solid and be their sober cab. You'll be a hero, and you'll remember all of the stupid stuff they do! Just imagine all the dirt you'll have on them...for years!

H/T: Forbes

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