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Original Fake News Story

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim v Minnesota Twins
The Twins are raining on our parade of ZUBAZ! (Getty Images)

Pitchers and catchers reported for Spring Training today (2/13/18) with workouts set to begin tomorrow. Yay, baseball! It's my favorite sport. I even have a baseball on my desk that doubles as a stress ball.

If someone causes me stress, I throw it at them.

The Minnesota Twins front office released their promotions schedule for the 2018 season yesterday. As I perused the offerings, I noticed something was missing.

No Zubaz?!

Last year saw the Twins have a Zubaz night at Target Field. I had tickets...but couldn't make it. I don't remember why (I have a short memory), but I'm sure it had something to do with saving the world.

So I was looking forward to getting tickets to this year's Zubaz night...and it's not happening. WTF?!


And looking through the rest of the promotions, I noticed that they're kinda...lame.

Here's a team that's just coming off a surprise appearance in the postseason last year, after losing 100+ games the year before; and not only can they not sign a decent starting pitcher, they also can't even put together a proper promotions schedule.

Which is one that includes Zubaz.

I remember being sold that this new stadium would boost revenue for the team, and allow them to have a higher budget for payroll. Zubaz should be on that payroll. And not only has the front office remained penny-pinchers, they've also let the world down by not bringing Zubaz back for 2018.

Give me Zubaz Night or give me...I dunno. Season tickets? Sure as heck aren't gonna buy season tickets without some effort from the team. All this anger is making me sleepy. Think I'll take a nap.

You know what's really comfortable to wear during a nap? ZUBAZ!!!

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