Alexa, play Montgomery Gentry's "Something to be Proud Of".

Minnesota is still sitting at the top of the list for having the worst winters in America, but I'm pretty sure we already knew that. Thrillist put together a list ranking every state from best winter to worst, and while Hawaii sat happily in the 50th spot, Minnesota was at the tippy top of the list.

For all those adorable don'tcha knows, we think something else is going on. We think beneath that eternal Nordic happiness is some inner pain, trapped below the surface like a Grain Belt dropped into an ice-fishing hole, a cauldron of hot anger ready to spill out like a cut-open Jucy Lucy.

Thrillist might be onto something with that inner pain, but I wouldn't totally know for sure because just as it starts to thaw within me, it gets cold again.

The article then went on to take a few personal stabs at Minnesota about us and our winters including

  • "Your sports teams never win championships"
  • "All of your good high school hockey players end up starring for NHL teams in other cities."
  • "Ice fishing can't be that cool."

Ouch. Those are some fighting words. But you know what, as Minnesotans, we will just offer them a beer and ask if they are hungry. We have dinner on the stove and they seem like they could use a bite to eat to quell that anger. Everything is better with a belly full of tater tot hotdish. Maybe then they will understand that yes our winters are long and miserable, but there is no place we would rather be than the Land of 10,000 Lakes.

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