After checking out some tractor pulling for the first time at Holdingford Daze a couple of weeks ago and studying the competition at the Sherburne County Fair this past weekend, I have decided to leave it all behind and officially become a tractor pull guy.

Consider this my two week notice.

I find it all very appealing: naming my rig something cool like Son of a Tractor II or Pull This!, decking my tractor out with American flags and whatnot, the camaraderie of the pit near the track, the outfits... hell, I don't even care if I never win an event, I JUST WANT TO BE PART OF IT.

No more waking up at 5 a.m. to go to work. I don't even have to shower if I don't want to, I am just going to get dirtier at work anyway. Even though I don't smoke, it seems like everyone else does so maybe I will start?

Here at work we have a tired vending machine with chips, candy and old stale gum. As a professional tractor puller my new office will have cheese curds, hot dogs and mini donuts EVERY SINGLE DAY. Oh boy, all the smells!

I just need someone to point me in the right direction as I am still not 100% sure what is happening at tractor pulls. Are they just lawn mowers that you can buy at Sears, or are they fully customized machines? Why is there a guy sitting in the back of the trailer with a microphone (and cigarette of course) while this poor guy is trying to pull it?

Actually, that's the job to get, isn't it? I think I'd rather just be the dude in the back that goes along for the ride as opposed to having to give too much effort on the actual tractor.

Take a Virtual Tour of the Gorgeous Murals in Sauk Centre

10 Places in St. Cloud That Would Be Fun to Explore Once Abandoned