12 Lies All Minnesotans Tell Themselves
We don't mean to lie to ourselves...but, sometimes we do. Minnesotans have the best intentions--we swear. But, we can't help it sometimes. Here are 12 lies we tell ourselves.
1. I won't be gone long. We've all heard our family say this before a Target run...or, before a 'quick' stop at a relative's house. We're social beings.
2. I'm going to stick to my shopping list. We have the best intentions, but then we realize Coborn's is running a sale on meat...and there goes our will power and all of the space we had in our giant freezer.
3. Salt and pepper are the only spices we need. I'm not sure why it's all the rage in Minnesota, but there are so many other spices out there. I think I offended my grandfather when I told him I was out of pepper. The horror.
4. Ketchup goes on anything. It doesn't. And, sometimes shouldn't. But, that doesn't stop Minnesotans from putting it on things like their eggs, burritos and other weird things it just shouldn't pair with. Gordon Ramsey would have a breakdown if only he knew.
5. We're so Minnesota nice. We're not always. Sometimes we can be VERY passive aggressive...and dare I say, downright cranky.
6. We can take the cold. Let me remind you that we're all dressed like the world is ending when we get a cold spell in late August. Yes, I didn't forget.
7. Everyone but me has a Minnesota accent. If you don't know who has the Minnesota accent in your friend's group, it's probably all of you. You're so used to it, you can't hear when you're doing it.
8. I need more fishing equipment. I don't know who needs to hear this today...You don't. You have enough.
9. I'm done with the Vikings. LOLOLOL yeah, sure, buddy. You'll be tuned into the first game, wearing your lucky jersey, again next year...and every year...for the rest of your life until you die.
10. It's not cold, it's just windy. Those are our famous last words.
11. I don't need to shovel, it'll melt soon. Dude, maybe in May...but, when it's March you need to get out there with salts, power tools and prayers and take care of that stuff.
12. You're a world traveler because you've been to Canada. I mean, sure, you've technically left the country but everyone knows it's just Minnesota part 2.