Married co-workers of mine celebrated the baptism of their newborn this weekend, and brought in a sheet cake to share with all of us. A photo of their baby was printed onto the frosting -- and not one person had the nerve to 'eat the baby.'

It should be noted that they brought in a sheet cake and a 12-pack of Pepsi. It was a nice gesture, but some maple syrup and sugar cubes would have been a nice touch.

In Minnesota we will cut a doughnut into a million pieces in the breakroom because eating it all would be blasphemous, and leave that last piece of pizza in the box so we're not looked at as some kind of heartless monster -- so this should come as no surprise; but I think something else is going on here.

It's not about eating the last piece -- it's about not eating the baby.


Is there an unwritten rule that you don't eat the newly baptized? About eating children under the age of two? By the looks of the wreckage on the kitchen counter, it certainly didn't have anything to do about calories or food value.

I Googled 'Why You Shouldn't Eat Children.' Nothing meaningful came up. Just a bunch of crap about feeding your kids healthy foods. (Please come to my defense when the authorities take me in for searching 'Why You Shouldn't Eat Children' on the internet.)

I'm pretty sure that bouncing baby boy ended up in the trash. Is there no respect for the young (or kick-ass frosting)?

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