This isn't an easy blog to write, but it's something that I have to get off my chest.

If you haven't picked up on this, I am going through a divorce. My soon-to-be ex-wife (who I will now refer to as my daughter's mother, because "ex-wife" sounds negative and we're still getting along) and I drifted apart after 7+ years of marriage. It sucks, but it happens.

Fortunately, we're still civil. I feel that it's a necessity for the well-being of our daughter. It's too easy to simply attack the other parent, and I've seen it happen to friends of mine. The kids never win when this happens.

Which brings me to this: the hardest part of divorce is not being around the kids all the time. Especially my daughter, of course, as she's my only biological child, but also the stepkids that I've watched grow up for 10 years.

I think about the things that I won't be a part of now: teaching them how to drive and getting their driver's licenses, those awkward (and smelly) teenage years, going to prom, graduation high school & college, starting families of their own...I'll miss out on these, and that sucks. That really sucks.

But that's reality, and that's the risk of becoming part of a mixed family. Sometimes a decade of emotional investment results in a lifetime of heartbreak. And that really sucks.

That said, I wouldn't trade the last decade for anything. Can't forget the good times, can't forget the bad times. The challenge is to be grateful that it happened, instead of sad that it ended. Someday (hopefully soon) the former will overtake the latter.