Yer Offiss Mite B Maykign Yu Domer [Sign of the Apocalypse]
There you are, sitting at your desk. The lights are kinda...not right. Your wit isn't as sharp as it used to be, and you struggle to remember things and learn new skills. You swear this job is making you dumber.
Good (or bad) news! You just might be right!
Except it isn't necessarily the office that's making you dumber; it's the lighting.
Michigan State University researchers ('MERICUH!) studied the effect of lighting on our...uh, squishy things inside our heads.
They shined two types of lighting on rats. One mimicked most office lighting; the other was brighter, like daylight.
So what did they find?
After a month, the office rats lost almost a third of their hippocampus (the memory and learning part of your brain).
Their friggin' brains shrunk.
Fortunately, it's reversible. Shine some bright light on them and they recovered in a month.
Next time I end up staring at the boss with drool pouring out my mouth, I'll blame it on the lighting.
I could just spend more time outdoors, but...no. I'll just stock up on napkins.