I went Black Friday shopping once. It was at Menards in Baxter a few years ago. I got there late (4:30am), waited among the masses (the line went clear across the parking lot), enjoyed the festive atmosphere, then braced for chaos when the doors opened at 6am.

Fortunately, the only real chaos I experienced was wondering where the heck the batteries and $10 cordless drill were when I finally got inside. I eventually found them, made my purchase (the checkout lines weren't terrible since most people were still shopping), and left. I think I spent a grand total of $20. Was it worth it?

No. But I wanted to experience Black Friday once. I didn't get maimed or punched or shot, so I quit while I was ahead and have never gone back to Black Friday shopping.

People have been going batsh*t insane for stuff since the dawn of human kind. I'm sure cavemen and cavewomen beat the holy hell out of each other for a shiny rock.

Remember THIS spawn of shopping sanity Satan?! (Getty Images)

Cyber Monday is cool. I can get deals (if I had money) from the comfort of my own toilet (don't judge me).

As if I needed more justification for staying home and as far away as the hordes of insane people on Black Friday, this past BF nearly went full Hunger Games. Fights broke out all over the country (Walmart is just a magnet for this crap), and people shot and stabbed each other.

Hard pass. I'll be content with the current content of my life.

What's YOUR Black Friday Horror Story?
Comment below!