When you’re young, it’s tough to see past Friday night. The most important thing in life is to go hang out with your friends. Who’s hanging with whom? Where are they going? Where’s the party? Where’s the “cool” spot to be that night? Where is everyone in school going because that’s where you want to be. And that’s OK at that stage of life, but, when you get older those sorts of things become less and less important. 

Sometimes you lose touch with people. It’s harder to do that now with the advent of social media and the fact that we’re all about two clicks away from each other, but for whatever reason, sometimes people stop talking to you. Keep making attempts to stay in contact and if they don’t reciprocate after a month or two, then they aren’t worth your time.

I went through a period of my life where I had to make some changes with what I was doing, where I was going and the crowd I was running with. After I made those changes, my phone literally stopped ringing. I sat home depressed and wondering “Why doesn’t anyone want to be friends with me? Maybe I should just go back and see what the gang is up to.” A voice inside me told me that would lead to nothing good and that I should just stay put. So I did. Then I realized just how uncomfortable my couch was, and that I had saved a ton of money by not being out and about every night so I bought myself a nice piece of furniture. Then I bought a gorgeous lamp. Then I started paying for cable, and suddenly this whole “staying home” thing wasn’t so bad.

Please don’t ever give someone you care about a one armed hug.

I had time for my family again. I was doing better at work. I was losing weight. I bought nice new athletic shoes and started playing tennis again and what I realized was that I had time for all of these things that I had lost touch with, but saw a renewed interest in because I wasn't wasting all my time with false friends.

None of those people would stop what they were doing to help me out. None of them would ever give me a ride home on a rainy night. None of them would ever bring me ice cream after a break up. Hell, I don’t even remember their names.

You know who I do remember? I remember the one who met me for coffee last minute to talk about a particularly difficult situation. I also remember the one who came over at 11pm on a school night after I had been dumped so she could surprise me with ice cream and a funny movie to cheer me up. I also remember the one who came to get me after my accident on 494 that left me in tears and strandedon the freeway with a destroyed car.

True friends aren’t going to care what you look like, what you drive, where you live, or what your house is like. True friends are going to be the ones where you never have to say goodbye because you know that the next time you see them, the conversation is going to pick right back up where you left off, and those are the friends you need to keep around.

While we’re at it, please don’t ever give someone you care about a one armed hug. You never know when you’re going to get to see them again.