When Can A Transplant Truly Call Themselves ‘Minnesotan?’

We recently welcomed Dave Thomas, formerly of North Carolina, to the River team here in St. Cloud, Minnesota. One of the things that has come up a few times during his first couple of months is the question of when, exactly, he can call himself a 'Minnesotan.'

To me, I think when you have established residency you can feel free to call yourself a Minnesotan.. I am not picky, nor am I interested in being some kind of gatekeeper.

According to a September reddit post, however, there are certain milestones one must hit before they can anoint themselves as 'one of us.' Here were some of my favorite responses to the question.

"IF YOU HAVE UTTERED THE HOLY GRAIL OF MINNESOTA: 'IT'S TOO COLD TO SNOW.' 

Unfortunately, this common Minnesota phrase is wrong. There is no such thing as 'too cold to snow,' although the colder it is outside, the harder it is for the air to hold moisture.

"WHEN YOU HAVE FALLEN ON THE ICE AT LEAST THRICE" 

I didn't know we were supposed to count! There really is no feeling quite like that moment you feel your feet slip out from under you right before you smack the sidewalk with whatever bone/appendage lands first.

"WHEN YOU ACCIDENTALLY BLURT OUT "OPE, JUST GONNA SCOOCH RIGHT PAST YA" WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT IT" 

I don't think I have ever said this phrase, but it is definitely possible that I just say it all the time without even realizing it!

"WHEN YOU WEAR SHORTS IN 45 DEGREE WEATHER" 

We all know this guy. They seem to congregate on the SCSU campus, the people who wear basketball shorts 'unless it's below zero.'

"WHEN YOU REALIZE THE VIKINGS WILL NEVER WIN THE SUPER BOWL IN YOUR LIFETIME"

I was 16 in 1998 and I believed! Then the Vikings got beat by the Falcons.

I was 19 in 2001 and I believed! Then the Vikings got beat 41-0 by the Giants.

I was 27 in 2009 and I still (kind of) believed! Then Favre threw the pick against the Saints.

I was 34 in 2016 and was already dead inside when Blair Walsh missed the chip shot against the Seahawks.

I was 36 when the Minneapolis Miracle happened and I foolishly believed again. The Vikings were promptly stomped by the Eagles in the NFC Championship game.

I get it now.

FINALLY, "WHEN YOU MUTTER THE WORDS 'WITHOUT THE WIND IT WOULD BE A NICE DAY' WHEN IT IS AT LEAST -5 OUTSIDE. 

I still do this from time to time and I refuse to believe it's not true.