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What Do You Dread About the Holidays? [POLL]

oh no peanuts
Ricky Woods

Yesterday my daughter received a jumbo package in the mail from her grandparents. Somewhere inside this humongous box was a Rock Star Mickey but what the super-large box (did I mention the box was enormous?) was really full of…..was my most dreaded holiday accessory.

PACKING PEANUTS! OMG! Has a worse evil ever been invented!? You cannot dispose of them. As soon as you open a box that has peanuts in it you might want to consider just abandoning whatever the peanuts are supposed to be protecting and, instead, protect your sanity by quickly re-closing the box, taping it shut (doesn’t hurt to throw a staple, some glue, maybe a bungee cord around that puppy too) and calling the Hazmat team.

Just try to get peanuts from the box into the trash can. They run for their freedom! As you try to scoop them up they gather static electricity and begin to climb your arms, your legs, the furniture and your pets. Your three-year-old thinks they’re great fun and she jumps in the box and begins to launch them at you like squeaky little grenades.

Sweeping them with a broom only makes the static problem worse and trying to vacuum the evil little squiggles gave me a new problem – a clogged vacuum cleaner.

So, I do really like Christmas presents but I’d prefer a broken Christmas present to ever letting another packing peanut into my house again. Ever.

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