Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman are the rarest of couples: A pair full-on in the celebrity spotlight who somehow have managed to keep their marriage, family, and private life intact for more than a decade. The couple just celebrated their 12th wedding anniversary on June 25, and their oldest daughter turned 10 on July 7.

For those who are wondering how the two manage to keep their marriage strong over a full dozen years, the Big Little Lies actress, 51, told People that the secret lies in keeping one's thoughts focused on the partnership: “I think it’s knowing that you have to keep contributing to what we call the ‘us,’" she explains. "You go, ‘Does this work for us?’

“When you make an us, it’s yours together—that’s what you create. Nobody else has that. It’s just between the two of you.”

Urban himself has a similar outlook on how to manage his marriage, and adds that he doesn't think he and his wife are much different from "ordinary" couples in that they are moving along and learning as they go. He told several media outlets backstage at 2018 CMA Music Festival (quote via the Boot). "We're just like any married couple, trying to figure out what works and what doesn't work. Trying to balance work and family life is challenging for everyone, and it's no different for us."

Watch Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman Sing Together:

See Keith + Nicole's Sweetest Pictures Through the Years

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