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The Question Married People Are Tired of Hearing

Amy Nistler

I ask a lot of questions, but there’s one question I and many of my married friends are really tired of hearing. 

I know people are just trying to make polite conversation or maybe they are trying to be funny, but a lot of my friends are married and immediately, the question comes up, “Do you have kids?” And when the answer is no, the next question is “When are you having kids?”

I have a friend who isn’t even married yet and their future mother in law is already badgering them to have kids. I had a coworker whose mother in law begged at the wedding reception for them to get pregnant that night! I know another couple who just got married last year. She’s 38, he’s 42 and get asked about kids. People ask Glen and I if we’re having kids and when we say no, they press on and ask, “why not? You’d be great parents!”

Look, we love kids. I’m sure I would make a fine mother and Glen is an excellent dad. Our lives are filled with children and they are fun to have around, but why we don’t have kids, or why others aren’t having children isn’t anyone’s business.

You don’t know if it’s a sore subject or a point of contention, or maybe it’s a painful topic because the couple isn’t able. Maybe they had an adoption fall through. Whatever the reason, it’s no one’s business, so we marrieds (or at least I am personally asking and asking on behalf of my childless friends) are asking everyone to please stop asking when we’re having kids.

Thank you.

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