WHERE DO I START

I just learned that I obviously, in my 28 years of existence, have not yet figured out how to drink wine. I'm looking back through time figuring out why all the big breaks have passed me by.

Someone at a ritzy party somewhere in my past, saw me holding a glass of wine by the bowl instead of the stem, with OVER a quarter cup in the glass, and noticed that it was a white sweet wine;  ALERT! Sweet wine drinkers: you have just failed the test. Don't expect to get anywhere in this world until you change your wine drinking habits.

LET'S GET STARTED

Forget Moscato's. You heard me. Put it down. Shun it. Put your nose up in the air and walk away from this pretending to be wine wanna-be. Alexa says NO! It's not even real wine. It was an accident of stuck fermentation; and was put aside at Sutter Home Winery in the 70's.  Someone tasted it a few weeks later and liked it. But it's not made the same as the rest. It's juice with sparkle.

If you want to really learn the joys of what wine is all about, start with these tips from a self proclaimed wine snot...I mean snob...Alexa Rosario. Jealous?  Maybe...just a little.

DRINK WINE FROM A REAL WINE GLASS

I guess I probably KNEW this...but I don't have fancy glass wear. I guess that makes me less of of a person than most. Wine should not be drunk out of a red solo cup. Nor should it be drunk out of a beer mug. If you want to be on the 'inside' you need to get real wine glasses and serve the wine at 65-68 degrees. Which means bringing it home and putting it on ice and checking it's temp. Is there a special temperature gauge for this?  Or do you just KNOW what 65 degree's is?

Pour only about 1/4 of the glass full, and hold your wine glass by the stem. If your wine is chilled at the proper temp, and served properly, it will be a much different experience than if your drinking it out of your kids sippy cup.  Okay. She's got a point. I'll buy this.

FOR BEGINNERS

Alexa does have tips to bring me out of my wine shell. She recommended that for beginners, which apparently I still am; then I should start with Boneshaker or Moss Roxx; these run for about $15-$20.  She says they are big, bold and red, without being dry. I'll try Alexa. I'll try.

AERORATORS

I'm not sure what this even looks like, but I'm sure I can find out by watching youtube videos. If you aerate your wine, the flavors will stand out. This should fix all the problems that I've mentioned above and we just might have a different wine tasting experience. Well...I'm willing to try; HOWEVER; I can't turn back the hands of time. I still made those mistakes; and I may have to pay for them the rest of my life. Think about all the great circles of rich people I could have been rubbing elbows with. I finally know why I don't fit in. It's the way I drink my wine.