I have a pretty big garden this year (Would anyone like a cucumber? Seriously, I'm drowning in cucumbers.) and I'm really excited about the watermelon. I've tried to grow watermelon before but nothing much happens. Well, this year I have at least a dozen melons on the vine. They are big and heavy and, I thought, ripe. Wrong!

I cut into my first one this weekend and it was barely pink inside. Oh, the heartbreak! The anticipation, the hopes, the dreams...dashed! At least I didn't have to throw it away - my chickens will eat anything. So, how do you tell if your watermelon is ripe on the vine?

A little looking around on the internet and I determined the top advice is to give your watermelon a thump. Thumping? Seriously? I'm a DJ, I'm half deaf. I can't tell a watermelon thump from a watermelon slap. The "pig tendril" advice seems promising but do you wait for the first tendril to die or, as others say, the first TWO tendrils to die? And then, helpfully, some say the tendril trick doesn't work at all. This video pretty much sums up the advice out there.

Obviously, I'm not getting anywhere. Do you know how to tell if a watermelon is ripe on the vine?

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