I’m what they like to call an “indoor” girl. I just do not understand the appeal of hunting. All of the men in my family hunt deer and I’ve even known a few women who do it too–and they LOVE it. I don’t have a problem with hunting, I just don’t understand how someone could actually enjoy it. Before we start, take a look at the picture of the person above. Does it look like that person is having fun? Well, tell that to her face.

1. It’s cold. First of all, November is usually a cold month in Minnesota--not this year for whatever reason. But, I do whatever I can to avoid being outside. Being an icicle does not sound fun to me.

2. Sleeping is awful. You sleep in a camper, or cabin with a bunch of smelly guys all weekend. That can’t be comfortable. There’s nothing in the world that seems less appealing to me. ICK. I don’t even want to know what kind of smells fester in the woods all weekend.

3. It’s a snooze. You have to be extremely quiet and focused ALL weekend. Maybe it’s just me, but this seems like it would get so boring I’d fall asleep.

4. Heights. You have to sit up high in a tree. I’m terrified of heights.

5. Bathroom use is complicated. What happens if you have to go to the bathroom? You’re in a million layers of clothing and gear.

6. What about the food? Guys in my family bring lots of snacks. SNACKS! They’re just snacks…I’d want a real meal after sitting and being quiet all day.

7. You’re on alert. You have to be on high alert the whole time so that you don’t accidentally get shot or shoot someone. No, thank you!

8. Disney ruined me. I don’t think I could actually look Bambi in the face and kill him myself. I’ve watched that movie way too many times.

9. GUTS. What happens if you do actually shoot a deer? YOU HAVE TO CLEAN IT YOURSELF. GROSS!!! I could never grab out deer guts. Excuse me while I go throw up!!

10. Deer pee. When you get home, you smell like a foot–a wild foot. Your clothes are gross and soaked in DEER PEE. Deer pee. WHY?!

Again, no thanks! You can find me at the mall this weekend or indoors somewhere. Have fun this weekend folks, and good luck in the woods!